This is a poem I first came across years ago and which I recently thought of again. It feels appropriate to share it here; please feel free to share your thoughts on it using the comments box.
Not Waving But Drowning
by Stevie Smith
Nobody heard him, the dead man,
But still he lay moaning:
I was much further out than you thought
And not waving but drowning.
Poor chap, he always loved larking
And now he's dead
It must have been too cold for him his heart gave way,
They said.
Oh, no no no, it was too cold always
(Still the dead one lay moaning)
I was much too far out all my life
And not waving but drowning.****Here's another piece of writing which I initially heard on an addiction studies course in Ballymun. I just searched for it online and found it here, where it is used to explain why psychotherapy is not a quick process. I don't know who wrote it. While not specifically related to suicide, I think it's relevant for everyone as we go through life, trying our best while often making the same old mistakes. But change is possible.
I walk down the road. There is a hole in the road. I do not see the hole. I fall in the hole. It is very deep, and at the bottom where I lay broken, it is dark and cold. I can’t get out.I walk down the road. There is a hole in the road. I see the hole as I am walking down the road. I fall down the hole. Its familiar and quite cosy. I can’t get out.I walk down the road. There is a hole in the road. I see the hole as I am walking down the road. I fall down the hole. I want to get out.I walk down the road. There is a hole in the road. I see the hole as I am walking down the road. I dread falling down the hole. I fall down the hole. And I look up and decide to get out.I walk down the road. There is a hole in the road. I see the hole as I walk down the road. I think, “oh, ha ha, no, no, I’m not falling for that again!”. I fall down the hole. I start climbing out.I walk down the road. There is a hole in the road. I see the hole as I walk down the road. I try not to, but I fall in the hole again. I get back out straight away.I walk down the road. There is a hole in the road. I see the hole as I walk down the road. My foot slides and I fall in the hole again, but I do not hit the bottom. I cling on to the side and get out of the hole.I walk down the road. There is a hole in the road. I step over the hole. I do not fall into the hole.I walk down a different road.
I walk down the road. There is a hole in the road. I do not see the hole. I fall in the hole. It is very deep, and at the bottom where I lay broken, it is dark and cold. I can’t get out.
I walk down the road. There is a hole in the road. I see the hole as I am walking down the road. I fall down the hole. Its familiar and quite cosy. I can’t get out.
I walk down the road. There is a hole in the road. I see the hole as I am walking down the road. I fall down the hole. I want to get out.
I walk down the road. There is a hole in the road. I see the hole as I am walking down the road. I dread falling down the hole. I fall down the hole. And I look up and decide to get out.
I walk down the road. There is a hole in the road. I see the hole as I walk down the road. I think, “oh, ha ha, no, no, I’m not falling for that again!”. I fall down the hole. I start climbing out.
I walk down the road. There is a hole in the road. I see the hole as I walk down the road. I try not to, but I fall in the hole again. I get back out straight away.
I walk down the road. There is a hole in the road. I see the hole as I walk down the road. My foot slides and I fall in the hole again, but I do not hit the bottom. I cling on to the side and get out of the hole.
I walk down the road. There is a hole in the road. I step over the hole. I do not fall into the hole.
I walk down a different road.
The tenderness and poignancy of this poem really touched me Riona. I found it very thought-provoking. It so effectively portrays the struggle with suicide and how overwhelming life can be.
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